My Journal?
by Hitomi Asahara
Summary: Rin went to visit her old house. When she explores her library...read to find out ;) (a rin x len fanfic XD)
1. Chapter 1: Intro and a Kiss

Chapter 1: Intro and a Kiss

**Heyhoo~ (?) I'm gonna write a Rin x Len fanfic again~ enjoy XD**

Yellow hair, white head band, sailor suit with a short pants. Kagamine Rin, that's her name. She walk through the door of her old house's library. Exploring the shelves softly with her finger. She then stops at a book from 6 years ago. The dusty yellow book with title; 'my journal?'. She then opens the several pages before the end of that book with a smile.

_Tuesday, 27th November XX_

_09.00 a.m_

_Err..so hey.. I'm Kagamine Rin, 13 years old. Well, this is my first journal, I guess. That explains the question mark at the title of this book. It's been 2 months since I write here so I introduce myself again? Oh this is kinda awkward. Anyway, today I'll go to the park with Len! (By the way, he's my childhood friend and is younger than me. He's 12.) So.. Jaa, I'll write again tonight._

She stops read as memories rush into her. She then remember those time from when she writes that journal.

**(Rin's POV, 6 years ago.)**

"Len!" I said as I run towards the messy-yellow-haired boy.

"Ah! Rin-nee.. Good morning" He greeted me with his warm smile.

"Gomen, gomen.. Did I make you wait?" I asked him.

"No, no.. I just arrived from the hospital." He said.

"Oh? Your cousin is still sick? Is he alright?" I asked.

"He's fine.." He said, smiling (his face is kinda hesitating but I guess I shouldn't ask).

"That's good. Ne, I want to visit him sometimes.. How about this saturday?"I asked him with a smile.

Len then answered, "I'm sorry but he needs to rest a lot, so..."

"Ah, I understand" I said smiling.

"So shall we go?" Len asked.

"Yeah!" I said.

We walked to the park. It's not far from the place we met. We then buy some ice cream and sit at the bench.

"This sure brings back memories" I said, starting up a conversation.

"Uh'huh.. We used to play the swing a lot haha" said Len.

"Hey hey! Let's play!" I said, inviting him to play the swing.

"Uh.. I'll watch, I'm not feeling good today."Len said.

"Are you alright? You should just rest in your house then.."Rin said.

"No.. I.. Want to be with you longer." Len said, smiling while blushing.

"H-huh?" I said, blushing a bit.

"..Rin-nee, you know I like you right?"Len asked, still blushing.

"Uh, yeah.. You said that a lot." I answered, blushing a bit. "But like I said, you're like a little brother to me.. Gomen.." I said then pats his head.

"No, it's fine.. Haha.." Said Len, smiling.

We continued to talk without realizing it's already 4.00 p.m. We then said goodbye to each other and went home.

_7.00 p.m_

_It's so much fun today at the park. Len really is an awesome friend. Just now he confessed to me again. I feel kinda sorry for him, though. As always, my face feels hot. But I'm sure it's because he's such a cute brother! Anyways, I'm kinda worry about his cousin. I don't think he's okay. Well, I'll asked the room number so that I could visit him then! Oh and goodnight :)_

**(Present time)**

Rin stops reading then breathe in to let the fresh air come into her lungs then let it out. She then opens her window so that the wind could come in. She sits in her white chair with a ribbon behind it. She then pulls out the ribbon and stare at it for a moment. After that she continues to read.

**(Rin's POV, 6 years ago.)**

_Wednesday, 28th November XX_

_7.30 a.m_

_Getting ready for school, just hope that Len comes today (he takes afternoon shift to take care of his cousin and gets the permission from school) well at least that's what he said. If I ever found out that's just a reason for him to skip school, I'll kill him for sure. (Haha just kidding..). Oh I just wish school is holiday just like yesterday. Well anyway, that's for today since it's just a normal-boring day of school, jaa._

I closed my 'journal' and grab my bag, then went downstairs. I grab a bread with jam and rush off to school.

"Rin-nee, ohayou.." Len greeted me in front of the school gate.

"Ohayou.. Eh? You don't take shifts today? How's your cousin?" I asked.

"He's alright.. Nope, my aunt came 2 days ago so I can go to school. But I'll have to be back to the hospital tomorrow.." Said Len, again with that hesitate face.

"Souka... It's good to see you then! Let's have lunch together later." I said, smiling.

"Un! Okay!" He replied, smiling back.

**(Lunch time)**

"Len! Let's go!" I said peeping into Len's classroom. Everyone stares at me but, well I don't really care, haha.

"Wait up Rin-nee" Len said as he grabbed his bento and then he rushed towards me.

We then go to the school backyard where we used to have lunch (before he has to watch his cousin). We then sit on the grass.

"So, how's your day?" I asked as I open my bento.

"Nothing much. Just an ordinary day." He replied then eat his scrambled eggs.

"*munch* souka..."I said as I eat my octopus-sausage.

"Ne, Rin-nee. Do you have someone you like?"Len asked with his troubled-face.

"N-no.. Why do you suddenly ask?" I asked back. No no, I definitely know why.

"N-nothing.. It's just that..."Len said.

"..That what?" I asked.

"Na-nandemonai." He said blushing. "C..an.. I ..ss...u.." He murmured, his face is as red as the tomato.

"Sorry, what?" I asked, can't understand what he's saying.

"...c-can I.. K-kiss you?" He asked, blushing so hard.

"..as a brother?" I asked. This too, I knew the answer.

"N-no... As a g-guy?"Len said, still blushing.

"O-okay, because you're so cute and everything. But that doesn't mean..." I said when he cuts, "..I know"

His face then went closer to mine. We stared at each others eyes. I feel drown in his blue eyes, somehow. I don't even know what's happening. My heart skips a beat. He then close his eyes, so do I. The next thing I feel is his lips against mine. His lips were so warm and soft. We kissed for a minute and then our lips parted. We took a breath. Then I stared at Len's face. It was really red. Well, my face is hot so I guess mine too.

"R-Rin-nee.. Gomen, making you do this." Len said, blushing.

"I-it's fine.." I said, blushing too.

After that it was nothing but an awkward silence until it was time for us to come back to class.

_6.30 p.m_

_Remember when I said that I won't write 'till tomorrow? Well, I changed my mind. When it's time to go home, I can't seem to find Len. His friend said that his parents picked him up early and rushes to the hospital. He was feeling unwell. Maybe it's about his cousin? Or maybe because he's feeling unwell? Or maybe both? ..I don't know, and I'm so damn worried here. ..and I wonder why he's so bold at lunch. He doesn't usually so bold like that.. I mean 'kiss'? And why does my heart skips a beat when we did it? H-he's like a brother to me, right?_

**[To be continued]**

**I wanted to make it a oneshot but it turns out to be longer than I thought'-' anyways, how is it? Please leave a review~ arigatou :3**


	2. Chapter 2: Regrets

Chapter 2: Regrets

Rin continue to read that book. Thinking "I'm so innocent that time" with a sad-smile face. Memories keeps rushing to her mind.

_Thursday, 29 November XX_

_07.00 a.m_

_I wonder if Len's okay. After what happens yesterday...ah come on, think positively! He'll be fine! By the way, it's starting to snow today! I want to build some snowman with Len when he's better xD well then, jaa! (Going to school._.)_

I walked to school in my favorite yellow jacket and brown boots.

"I wonder if Len comes today.."

Then I went to change into my indoor shoes. I went to Len's class to see if he came, but his friend told me that he's still absent. So I text him, "Len are you feeling fine?"

Several hours has past and he hasn't replied it yet. It's the fourth period now. I can't help it but to worry about him.

**(Last period)**

It's already the last period now. No reply. I stared at my phone several times. Until "vrrrrrr", finally! A reply from Len!

"Sorry for late reply, I'm fine. I'm just watching over my cousin.."

Then I smiled in a relieve. Thank God he's fine. Then I reply;

"Yokatta... I thought something had happened to you since yesterday your friend told me that you was feeling unwell. Ne, can I ask at what hospital and what room is your brother in?"

Not long after that, I got a reply.

Unlucky for me, the teacher notices that I'm playing with the phone and I got scolded. There's no choice, I should wait until the lesson ends.

**(After school)**

"Fuwaaah! That was tough! So glad that the teacher didn't took my phone!" I said to myself as I took my phone out of my pocket. I opened the text that Len sent;

"It's V-hospital, room 409. Please tell me first if want to visit. Do you want to meet after school?"

I immediately replied a yes. Not long after that, he sent me another text;

"Okay then let's meet in the hospital's park."

I took my bag and rushes of to the hospital. Wait- why am I this excited to meet Len? Even my heart is racing...saa na.

As soon as I arrived, I went to the hospital's park and waited at the cafe there.

"Rin-nee!" A yellow-messy-haired boy running towards me. "*cough* *cough*"

"Ah Len! Are you alright? You shouldn't have run you know, you were just feeling unwell yesterday.." I said.

"*cough* No, it's fine haha *cough*" Len said, coughing many times. His face looks kinda pale too.

We chatted as usual. Len doesn't seem very well. "So? Where's your cousin? Can I visit him now?"

"I'm sorry, he's still resting.." Len said with a forced-smile.

"You aren't hiding something ar-..." Before I could finish my sentence, Len grabbed me and kiss my lips.

As soon as he lets go he said with a blushing face, "s-sorry"

"I-it's fine.. Just don't do that..." I said, blushing too.

"Why? Nee, what am I to you Rin-nee?" Len asked me with a red face.

"Wha- what are you asking so suddenly?" I asked with a blushing face. Damn. I can't look into his face.

"Just answer me, ok?"

"A.. L-little brother? I guess..." I answered hesitantly.

"You guess? Haha Rin-nee is so cute.."He said.

I'm blushing real hard by now. Dammit. It's so embarrasing! After a few minutes chatting, Len suddenly coughs a lot more than before. His face looks even more pale.

"Are you alright? Since we're in the hospital, let's go to the doctor! You look really pale!" I said worried about him.

"No. I.. I'll excuse myself, jaa ne Rin-nee.." He said as he rushes off.

"What's with that?" I said to myself. "..and I thought I could play the snow with Len.. *sigh*"

_6.30 p.m_

_Today I almost got punished because of playing my phone in the middle of class! Yokatta it's makihara-sensei, so it's fine~ anyway, is Len really okay? He really looks pale today and he also coughs a lot. Then...he kissed me again today. Seriously, what is that kid thinking.. My heart was racing again.. I can't even look at his face! Is it really love? I love Len? Really?_

I closes my journal and dozes off. Do I really love Len? I wonder from when did I started to like him..and I just realized this? Oh man..this makes me want to meet Len again. Is he alright? Oh I want to know! Besides, I want to tell him my feelings as soon as I can!

I took my yellow jacket and went to the hospital again. I ran as fast as I can, smiling like a weirdo. "Wait for me, Len!" I thought to myself. I entered the hospital and went straight to the lift. I saw a guy being carried in a 'moveable bed'. His face is covered by a fabric. I don't know what age since I can't see his face. I don't really mind it and rushes to room 409, guessing that Len will be there. If not, at least I could ask his cousin.

"There it it!" I knock at the door. No one answered. I opened the door and there's no one there. "Len?" I said. There's only a thing that catch my attention; a letter tied up with a yellow ribbon. I opened it out of curiousity.

_Rin-nee.._

_If you read this, it means you broke our promise not to go to this room without telling me..but it's really fine._

_I wrote this before I went to my final operation. I'm sorry for hiding this from you all this time. I don't want you to be sad. Then I guess that make us even? Heehee.._

_I don't really know whether I'll survive or not but.. If I don't, please don't forget about me. I will always live in your heart if you remembers me, you know. _

_If someday you got your man, please introduce him to me.._

_Last, I know you like me.. I just knew haha.. You blushes a lot when I kissed you..you like me right?even just a bit?_

_..__and I will always love you, more than anyone else._

"Yes Len.. Yes, I love you! I really do!" I said, crying. I kept crying and crying when I realize that there's a nurse knocking at the door. I erased my tears and opened the door.

"Are you one of Len-san's acquaintance?"

"Y-yes.. How's Len?" I asked, my tears kept falling from my eyes.

"I'm sorry.. We tried our best.. His family is already downstairs, we just moved him just now.." The nurse said.

My tears kept falling out. Then I remembered the guy that I saw. "I-it's Len, isn't it?" I said to myself.

Then the nurse showed me my way to Len. I saw him laying in the bed with a peacefull face. I gave him a final kiss with the tears that won't stop.

_11.00 p.m_

_It's raining. Len has gone. When I finally realized my feelings.. I.. If only I had realized this from before...I love you Len.. I really love you, always... Always._

That was the last thing I wrote on my journal.

**(****PRESENT)**

Rin closes that book and smiled. She then tied up her hair with that yellow ribbon she had been holding. She took that book with her an leaves her house. Right before she leaves, she whispered one single thing,

"I love you Len, even until this very moment."

**-END-**

**So? How was it? Love it? Hate it? Leave your review XD and next chapter will be Len's POV~ please keep reading~ arigatou :3**


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